Ever wondered why you struggle to relax?
When we think about the word “relax” it can have a different meaning to each of us. To some, you may know the feelings of complete relaxation well, whilst others may think it’s an impossible feeling to achieve and get stressed by the idea of even trying to relax. The thing is, for us to truly relax, we need to feel as though we’re safe enough to do so. Our bodies still default back to our ancient ancestors that would need to constantly be on high alert for danger, to hunt and gather our food and to check our surroundings at all times. Although our stressors nowadays aren’t quite as extreme as potentially being attacked by some large animal, we still have remnants of that flight or fight response in our bodies. So it would make sense that letting ourselves switch off and relax when we’re programmed to be vigilant, can feel counter productive to our brain who’s number 1 goal is to keep us safe. With this in mind, what exactly can we do to help us switch from a state of alertness into the parasympathetic nervous system where we’re able to feel more relaxed?
I am Safe
We need to provide an environment where we feel safe in. Where do you have in your home that feels safe for you? Is it in your bath? Who are the people who make you feel safe? What scents are soothing to you? Also saying the words as a mantra silently can help reiterate that feeling of safety, letting your brain know that it’s ok to slow down.
Lighting
Bright lights can impact how alert we feel and also effect the bodies production of melatonin- the sleep hormone. When you want to feel calmer and more relaxed, opt for low lighting, darkness or red lighting to help you shift into a state of relaxation. Tip: Cover the eyes completely with the hands or lavender pillow to give your eyes a visual break and notice how much calmer you feel afterwards.
Get comfortable & Self Soothe
If you’re in a room, use any props you need to get really comfortable. One pose I love for this is legs up the wall. Simply lie back with a cushion or a bolster underneath your hips so that they’re slightly elevated and rest your legs against a wall. Alternatively if you’ve opted to lie in the bath, then again make sure you’re really comfortable. Whilst here, gently rub your hands as if you’re washing them so you’re getting in between the fingers, rub your legs, your shoulders, lightly tap around your jaw and the neck, rub the feet and stimulate the skin here.
Body scan
Bring your attention to each part of the body, notice where you’re holding tension physically as we tend to carry our stress and worries inside of the body. This can manifest as raised shoulders, screwed up face, clenched jaw or tight tummy. Gradually bring your awareness to each body part and slowly let go of all of the muscles until your body starts to relax.
Breathe
Notice where you feel the breath as you read this? A lot of the time its high in the chest and the shoulders with short sharp movements. Start by simply lengthening the inhale and the exhale. Slow and steady. You can take this further by practicing box breathing. Inhale for the count of 4, hold for the count of 4, breathe out for the count of 4 and hold out for the count of 4. Repeat for as long as you need.
Each step listed above, are simple tools that you can incorporate to your daily routine that will help your body shift into a calming state known as rest and digest by stimulating the parasympathetic nervous system. Over time this process will get easier so don’t be alarmed if you struggle at first. Go into these steps with no expectations and see what happens. To discover more ways to help with regulating our nervous system through the use of our movement, neuro drills and our breath, I have a new programme coming out where we’re going to be diving deeper into our practice. We’ll be learning tools to relax as well as tools to feel more alert and challenge the way we move on the mat. This will be online via our online membership platform Sculpt & Flow. If you’re local, come try one of our studio classes to see how we can implement these tools on the mat.